As z-listers and reality show has-beens celebrated the upcoming arrival of the Illuminati’s newest chosen one, Kim Kardashian’s best friend (in her head) Beyonce and Kanye West’s favorite cuddle time partner Jay-Z were on the other side of the country. Beyonce and Jay-Z couldn’t make it because they had more pressing matters to tend to like making sure his shoes are perfectly untied. I’m sure Beyonce and Jay-Z sent over a baby shower gift in the form of a restraining order keeping Kim and Kanye’s daughter Krisonda Yeezus from getting near Blue Ivy Carter, because Pimp Mama Kris is already whispering about putting the two in an arranged lesbian marriage.
And yes, Jay-Z, I do blame society for the reason why both of you queef diamond-encrusted hundred dollar bills.
Here’s more pictures, if you need them, of Beyonce and Jay-Z leaving a movie theater in NYC. Usually when they go to the movies, they buy out the entire theater so they won’t have to inhale the dirty fumes of peasants. But they went to see After Earth, so they didn’t have to worry about anybody else being in the theater with them.