After the Anna Nicole movie starring Willa Ford went straight to the back of the DVD clearance section at Walmart in 2007, everybody screamed, “We want another Anna Nicole movie! We want more!” (FYI: nobody screamed that.) So Lifetime heard our cries and hired the director of American Psycho to shoot another Anna Nicole movie starring Agnus Bruckner as Anna Nicole, Adam Goldberg as Howard K. Stern, Cary Elwes as E. Pierce Marshall, Martin Landau as J. Howard Marshall and Virginia Madsen as Virgie Arthur. Yeah, Virginia Madsen went from Electric Dreams to an Oscar nomination for Sideways to Lifetime’s Anna Nicole movie. Her career keeps climbing toward the stars!
This looks like a wreck with a clown face painted on it, but I will watch every second of it, because I trust the network that gave us the cinematic vomit puddle that was Liz & Dick. But my only questions are, where is Cousin Shelly?! (Lindsay Lohan totally could’ve played that role.) Where is Sugar Pie?! (Lindsay Lohan totally could’ve played that role too.) And where is Assistant Kimmie?! (Lindsay Lohan, sadly, isn’t hot enough to play that role.)