Kunty Karl traded his heart in for the throne of Chanel and his insides are as ice cold as a penguin’s clit, but yet he still feels warmth toward his pet cat. Choupette Lagerfeld has her own maids who keep a diary of her daily activities, she flies on her daddy’s private jet, she eats better than Goopy Paltrow does AND she has the love of a ghoul who didn’t know he had the ability to actually feel feelings for a living thing. Choupette really does have it all and if Karl had his way, she’d have a wedding ring too! Karl tells CNN’s Fashion Week: Backstage Pass (via The Independent) that he loves Choupette so much that he wants to marry her. Yes, Kunty Karl wants to marry his pussy.
“There is no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals… I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat.”
I never thought that Kunty Karl would fall in love with ANYTHING. How is it possible that he looks at Choupette and sees hearts and rainbows instead of seeing a Chanel stole he can sell to an Upper East Side ho for thousands upon thousands of dollars? Choupette has turned Kunty Karl into a crazy cat lady. Soon he’ll making cock cozies out of her fur.
We all know what’s going to happen next. Karl is going to get the French government to pass a law making it okay for humans to marry cats. He’ll marry Choupette, Choupette will set him up by getting a younger pussy to hit on him, she’ll divorce him and she’ll get half of his empire. Karl will be too heartbroken to design another dress and he’ll spend his days caressing a lock of her fur in a dark corner. Damn, Choupette is good. I bet she works for one of Karl’s enemies like Donatella Versace or Harry Potter.