Michael Douglas Got Throat Cancer From Eating Coochie

June 2, 2013 / Posted by:

Filling his throat with cigarette smoke and downing gallons of booze is not what led to Michael Douglas getting cancer of the froat, so says Michael Douglas. During an interview with The Guardian, Michael Douglas was asked if he cursed booze and cigarettes after he was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. MD doesn’t blame fags and the sweet nectar, because he says drinking and smoking for decades isn’t what gave him throat cancer, munching snatch did. MD says that some coochie needs to come with a warning label, because cunnilingus nearly killed him (that’s some Deadliest Snatch shit). MD explained it like this:

“No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”

MD was a major whore for many years, so who knows if CZJ is the one with a killer pussy. MD went on to joke that while making mouth love to vagina gave him throat cancer, it also cured his throat cancer.

“I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”

Now some tricks are totally going to use the “I don’t want to get cancer!” excuse to get out of going down. Well, you can tell them that if they get cancer from eating coochie, they can cure themselves by continuing to eat that coochie. Dr. Michael Douglas said so!

And while reading about the dangers of getting cancer from oral, I also learned that you can get cancer (via HPV) from sucking dick too. WHY?!!!!!!!!

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