Taylor Swift’s Neighbors Already Hate Her Ass

June 1, 2013 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift is supposedly spending the summer at the $17 million Rhode Island mansion that dozens of break-up songs bought and it looks like it’s going to be a long ass annoying summer for her neighbors. Radar says that Taylor’s oceanfront mansion in Watch Hill, RI is right next to the path that leads down to the public beach and her security guards have been stopping people from hanging out around there. Taylor’s neighbors now join John Mayer, Kanye, Harry Styles and millions of other hos who can’t stand her ass.

One of Taylor Swift’s crazy stalkers recently got caught trying to swim up to her mansion one night and ever since then she’s stepped up her security. Taylor’s security guards constantly patrol the border of her property and constantly shoo bitches away. One neighbor said, “Her property line is at the path to the public beach and she always has guards patrolling the area. It’s making it such a hassle. If she wanted privacy, she shouldn’t have bought a house overlooking a public beach!”

Taylor’s property is right next to a beach wall where local teenagers have been hanging out since the beginning of time, but hanging out at the beach wall is a thing of the past, because her bodyguards tell the kids that if they don’t go on their merry fucking way they’re going to blast her songs into their ears.

Some of the people of Watch Hill have been complaining on Twitter about how Taylor Swift is totally ruining summer.

Something in the milk ain’t clean about this. I’m assuming that some of the local teens who hang out at that beach wall are white boys. The Taylor Swift we know would never scare away teenage white boys. I’m sure the truth is that the security guards tell the girls to get the hell out of there and as the girls walk away, a pair of bony white claws pulls the white boys over the wall. Takashi Shimizu has totally found the plot for his next movie.

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