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Helen Henny from Chuck E. Cheese’s!

If you were a child in America in the 1970s and beyond, then there’s a good chance that you have deep scars on your innocence from watching the animatronic show at Chuck E. Cheese’s. The animatronic show at Chuck E. Cheese’s taught me how to have nightmares. I went to way too many birthday parties in the 80s and 90s at Chuck E. Cheese’s and I only went for the pizza (which was basically hardened grease with cheese and meat on top), the Skee Ball and the terrifying animatronic show. My favorite ho in the animatronic show was Helen Henny, because she was the only chick up there and she wore satin.

Helen Henny was based on Helen Reddy and when her ass debuted at Chuck E. Cheese’s in the late 70s, she looked like the leader of a murderous cult. Then in the 80s, they gave Helen Henny gorgeous wire hangar eyebrows and turned her into “Broadway Helen Henny” (above). Bitch looked more like “Brothel Madam Helen Henny.” Then throughout the years, Helen Henny got skinnier and skinnier and skinnier and younger and younger and now she’s an annoying cheerleader with pom pom hair.

She’s no longer the Helen Henny I know. Because the Helen Henny I know was terrifying and looked like she was about to come alive to snatch you and sell you on the black market. Those were the days.

At least the memory of the real Helen Henny lives on YouTube:

Chuck E. Cheese’s, where a kid can get the shit scared out of them.