Cameron Diaz Is Doing A Billionaire

May 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Cameron Diaz has taken a page out of Salma Hayek’s playbook and decided that dating actors, models and athletes is overrated and boning gold coins out of a billionaire’s dick is really where it’s at. Page Six says that Cameron is casually dating South African-born billionaire Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and PayPal. Cameron said a while ago that she will get on a plane for some good dick. Well, it looks like she’s traded “traveling commercial for some good dick” for “traveling on a private jet for some average-but-rich-as-hell dick.” That’s what happens when Goopy is your life coach.

Page Six says that Cameron met Elon Musk (that sounds like the name of an anus cologne) when she bought a Tesla earlier this year. Since then, Elon and Cameron have hung out a few times and he regularly makes trips from Tesla’s headquarters in Palo Alto, CA to L.A. where she lives. Reps for Cameron and Elon shut their mouths when Page Six asked about this.

Elon divorced his second wife, Talulah Riley, last year and Cameron’s last full-time boyfriend was A-Rod.

Page Six also says that Elon Musk is the inspiration behind the Iron Man character. Wasn’t the Iron Man character birthed from Marvel’s vagine in the 1960s or something? That Elon Musk dude looks pretty good for 80.

I don’t know why, but I’m getting “Mads Mikkelsen as Dr. Lecter in Hannibal” vibes from Elon Musk. He looks like he serves the guts of hitchhikers to his guests without them knowing it and he probably has a peep hole in his powder room so he can fap while watching his guests pee. But whatever, I guess eating human nipple pasta is a small price to pay for dating a BILLIONAIRE!!!!

Here’s Cameron at the Monaco Grand Pix over the weekend.

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