Open Post: Hosted By Hugh Jackman’s Gigantic, Bulging Arm Vein

May 28, 2013 / Posted by:

You know how Demi Moore’s hot Australian muscle toy shoved a pearl in his peen shaft? Well, it looks like Hugh Jackman shoved several families of Gummi Worms into his arms. THOSE VEINS! Hugh JackMeOff’s noodle veins nearly bulged out of his skin when he hailed a cab in NYC this morning and I’m surprised that there’s not a bunch of bitchy and bold birds pecking at his arms, because those veins look like juicy worms.

Every vampire is probably jacking their fangs off to those veins. Those veins are a nurse’s idea of heaven. That big one in the picture above even looks like it has a head, a mouth and its own breathing system. It kind of looks like a nice vein, though. It looks like it’s smiling. You could probably talk to it about the Smash finale and it’ll tell you everything about what it’s like living on Hugh JackMeOff’s bicep. You could probably make it out with it even. Hell, that thing is so thick that if you sat on it, it’d probably bust most of your innards out. What I’m saying is that Hugh Jackman’s arm vein is the perfect boyfriend and I totally want to do it.

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