The NYPD Says That A Cop Never Slapped Amanda Bynes’ Vagina

May 28, 2013 / Posted by:

The NYPD investigated Amanda Bynes’ claim that a cop slapped her cooch while arresting her for throwing a bong out the window and decided that she made it all up. A rep for the NYPD said in a statement to Gossip Cop that there’s no evidence to prove that Amanda is telling the truth (Side note: Did they interview her slapped snatch per chance?) and a very credible witness never saw the cops handling her crotch area wrong. Amanda responded on Twitter and surprisingly she didn’t cry, “POLICE COVER-UP,” but she did tweet out some shit that made me laugh and cry at the same time:

My lawyer is getting my case dropped! There was no proof of sexual harassment or drugs. Instead of me asking for the cop to be arrested for sexual harassment, I want my case dropped as well. His punishment will be being the cop who sexually harassed someone who would never find him handsome enough to be my boyfriend. That’s worse than any time in jail. But I am suing him for money compensation. I love having more money in my bank!

Oh, that Amanda’s always looking on the bright side and the bright side is always prettier than you.

Amanda Bynes truly missed her calling. Since she’s obsessed with the American legal system and is always spewing out crazy shit that doesn’t really make sense, she should’ve been a lawyer! Shit, she should’ve been Jodi Arias’ lawyer! Yes, Jodi still would’ve been found guilty, but Amanda would’ve given the jury something to think about by saying, “Jodi is going to spend the rest of her life behind bars, but all of you will spend the rest of your lives trapped behind an ugly face and that’s worse than being in prison! Eww!

And I’m trying to decide if Amanda’s bangs glasses are the look or not the look?

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