Like the ten million people before him who have asked a celebrity to go to an important life event with them, Jake Davidson of CA (oh, CA) made a YouTube video where he asked boner maker Kate Upton to go to his high school senior prom with him. The video went viral and Jake ended up talking to Kate on the Today show. Kate said the video was very “sweet” and she’d have to “check her schedule” to see if she can go. Usually, when somebody spits out the “I have to check my schedule” line, it means that they have checked their schedule and on that date they are doing anything (examples: pluck ass hairs out one by one, have a staring contest with a wall, live-tweet that 8-hour long Imitation of Christ movie, etc…etc..) but going out with you.
Kate told Jake that she couldn’t go to prom him with and just as dozens of teen boners broke and filled with sadness, 21-year-old newbie Sports Illustrated model Nina Agdal popped up and said she’d go with him. Inside Edition set up the date and Jake said that he loves Nina’s Carl’s Jr. commercial and is one of her fans (in other words, we all know what that means). Here’s a video of Jake and the dutch model’s prom date in Santa Monica, CA. CAUTION: Severe awkwardness ahead:
A few observations… DAMN that boy is nervous. I wouldn’t call you a liar if you told me that he shat in his chonies at least 4 times during that video, because he looks like a bareback bottom slut awaiting his HIV results. Second, did she just ride with him in the limo, dance with him for a few seconds in the parking lot of the venue and then bounce out of that bitch? Nina’s like, “I have to leave now! Prom is over!” and it’s still light out. What in the hell kind of prom ends when it’s still light out? Was it an Amish prom? She probably only signed up for one limo ride and an awkward dance in the parking lot.
Meanwhile, Jake is probably the only one at prom who didn’t get any that night.