And Now Amanda Bynes Claims That A Cop Slapped Her Vagina

May 25, 2013 / Posted by:

And the messiness gets even messier. Amanda Bynes defended herself on Twitter today and said that a cop Zsa Zsa’s her chocha and lied about her throwing a bong out the window. Doesn’t the NYPD know that only Drake is allowed to commit a violent crime on her cooch? Here’s the truth according to Amanda:

Don’t believe the reports about me being arrested. It’s all lies. I was sexually harassed by one of the cops the night before last which is who then arrested me. He lied and said I threw a bong out the window when I opened the window for fresh air. Hilarious. He slapped my vagina. Sexual harassment. Big deal. I then called the cops on him. He handcuffed me, which I resisted, quite unlike any of the reports stated. Then I was sent to a mental hospital. Offensive. I kept asking for my lawyer but they wouldn’t let me. The cops were creepy. The cop sexually harassed me, they found no pot on me or bong outside my window. That’s why the judge let me go. Don’t believe any reports.

I don’t even know what to think anymore. But what I do know is that Amanda’s wig will forever be embedded into a special place in my nightmares and this entire situation has made me think of her vagina more than I’d like to. If Amanda’s telling the truth, I’m shaking my head at this shit. If Amanda’s not telling the truth, I’m shaking my head at this.

Wheelchair Jimmy, come get your girl already.

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