Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Up until a few days ago, I thought that Cinn-A-Burst was still something you could buy in a store until the awful, horrific, life-changing, tongue-wrenching, nasty-tasting truth burst in my eyes: you can’t. Cinna-A-Burst and its cousins, Mint-A-Burst and Fruit-A-Burst, died in the 2000s and I should’ve known this way earlier, because I have noticed that many sad, looking people aimlessly wander the streets while mumbling to themselves, “Now, where am I going to find a hard stick that bursts in my mouth?”

Cinn-A-Burst was this gum from the 90s and 2000s and it had tiny flavor-locking crystals (didn’t everything have flavor-locking crystals in it in the 90s?) that burst in your mouth when chewed on them. It was kind of like chewing on low-grade sandpaper covered in cinnamon powder.

People used to say that if you chewed the wrapper with the gum, it made the gum spicier. I did it once and didn’t really notice any difference, but some people always did it. I’m guessing that paper took years to digest and just now people are getting all nostalgic and shit while pooping out Cinn-A-Burst gum wrappers.

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