Keanu Reeves is 48 years old and he usually looks like an eternally young vampire who’s got an aging portrait of himself hanging in an attic somewhere. I’m guessing that Keanu wanted to throw people off of his trail, so he injected fat into his body, wonked his eye up a bit, pumped himself up with gas and got a double chin implant. Keanu walked off of a yacht in Cannes yesterday looking like a middle-aged smoke shop manager who gambled away all his money and now lives under a bench at the beach and spends his days harassing women on the pier. You can’t fool us, Keanu! We know you’re still an ageless vampire under there.
And I’d hit Keanu circa 1995, Keanu circa 2005 and Keanu circa yesterday.