Open Post: Hosted By Prince

May 20, 2013 / Posted by:

The Billboard Music Awards show wasn’t totally a lukewarm cesspool of crap music, whiny fetuses and three cent strippers (see: Nicki Minaj). There was some true talent there too. In between Miguel’s Janelle Monae-looking ass nearly giving a girl brain damage and Chris Brown summoning the demons with his unremarkable anus face, the dandelion of funk that is Prince sprouted up on stage and the frosted white shadow on his eyelids nearly melted when he brought the sexy in heavy doses.

Jehovah’s sexiest witness gave coochies a reason to cream when he puckered up those glossy lips and worked every piece of fringe on the jacket your grandmother donated to the Salvation Army years ago. Lauryn Hill twins made those hos salivate from every orifice last night.

Prince looks like a black Mrs. Roper and he gets crazier by the day, but I still would.

And I think the real reason Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate holidays is because they are too busy celebrating Prince’s beauty. That is a good reason!

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