Just a few minutes into Teen Mom Farrah’s porn debut in Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, she tells James Deen that she needs to run downstairs to get the lube, because she wants to get into some ass play. (Who knew that backdoor teen moms are just like John Travolta, because that’s exactly what he says five minutes into a massage.) Farrah tells James that it’s been so long since a dick has come a’knocking on her backdoor and when he asks, “Really? When was the last time?”, her dumb ass says, “This is my first time!” (Side note: I hate myself for typing “a dick has come a’knocking on her backdoor,” because it made me think of the Three’s Company theme song. Now, all day I’ll be singing to myself, “Come on fuck my backdoor, stick your dick in some poo…” Actually, I sing that every day, all day anyway, but you know…)
Guess what? That wasn’t the first time Teen Mom Farrah’s culo hole has been poked by a peen. During an interview with The Dirty’s Nik Richie about her porn, he asked her why she skipped coochie sex and went straight to butt sex in her tape. There’s a good reason for why the close-up on Farrah’s b-hole during her anal sex scene reminds me of that scene in The Descent when Sarah falls down a black hole of doom. Farrah loves butt sex, has had butt sex tons of time and got her butt cherry popped when she was just 15. Nik and Farrah’s conversation about her love of backdoor banging went like this:
Nik: For a girl that doesn’t have sex a lot, all of a sudden you’re like, “I want anal“?
Farrah: I’ve had anal before.
Nik: And you like it?
Farrah: I do!
Nik: Number one choice? Like that’s what you want to do?
Farrah: Why not? I had anal before I had “real” sex. Like if you want to know sexual history, I mean, I can choose whatever I want.
Nik: I do want to know your sexual history.
Farrah: This is a little bit weird, but if you want to go there… That’s how I feel. Why can’t I do whatever I want? I can hang from a monkey bar and do sex up there first if I wanted to.
Nik: But you’re telling me you had anal before you had actual “real” sex.
Farrah: In my real life.
Nik: From Derek or from someone else? Farrah: I had anal with somebody else.
Nik: At what age?
Farrah: 15. Then I started dating Derek and then having, like, real sex.
Nik: And you enjoyed anal more?
Farrah: I did.
Why does Nik Richie keep on getting on Farrah about ass sex? He should be encouraging her to only have ass sex. It’s better for humanity if Backdoor Ferret only gets it in the butt, because then she won’t procreate! (Unless she has ass sex with Lil’ Wayne, because his super mutant sperm are equipped with GPS devices and will find a way to get to her ovaries.)
And I cannot discuss this anymore due to conflict of interest in butt sex.
via Hollywood Life