Because I really wanted to build a utopian city shaped like a giant uncut dick, I downloaded the new SimCity the day it came out and immediately got a severe case of internal blue balls, because the server kept crashing and wouldn’t let me build my dick-shaped utopian city! I scream, I cried, I questioned the existence of God and I punched my modem until I finally gave up and went outside to do something else. Yes, those SimCity whores drove me to go outside and breathe actual fresh air. They made me do the impossible. I’ll never forgive them for that.
Unless Netflix builds an island of servers (I hope it’s dick-shaped), I have a feeling that hos are going to meltdown the same way I melted down on SimCity day when the entire fourth season of Arrested Development comes out on Memorial Day weekend. If Netflix’s servers crash and the Internet breaks, people will actually be outside on May 26th. It’ll be so weird.