On The View this morning, Barbara Walters announced that she will retire from television next summer and she’ll never appear on a show full-time again, because she’ll be too busy chasing virgins through the woods with Larry King. Now who’s going to ask bitches what kind of tree they are? Now who’s going to interrupt the other co-hosts on The View? Now who’s going to tell us that Snooki is the most fascinating person of the year? Now who’s going to get names wrong and lisp out some nonsensical crazy shit? Don’t say Elisabeth Hasselcrack, because apparently she’s leaving The View too.
As Marcia Cross breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that she won’t see Barbara Walter’s face on TV anymore, Babawawa said this about quitting the bitch that is TV:
“I have been on television continuously for over 50 years, but in the summer of 2014, a year from now, I plan to retire from appearing on television at all — it has been an absolutely joyful, rewarding, challenging, fascinating and occasionally bumpy ride. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m perfectly healthy, this is my decision, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. This is what i want to do. I will, however, continue as co-executive producer of The View with Bill Getty as long as the program is here. There will be special occasions that I will come back — I’m not walking into the sunset, but I don’t want to appear on another program, I don’t want to climb another mountain. I want instead to sit on a very sunny field and admire other women who will be taking my place and most of all, I want to thank everybody here. I’ve had an amazing career beyond anything I could ever imagined. And I hope I may inspire other women to make television. I smile when some young women say I grew up watching you on TV — it’s their time now. But remember, I have a whole year to go. We have exciting things planned for ABC News and The View and most of all, I want to say hi to all of you who have been watching me for so many years and you have traveled the same road that I have. I thank you, thank you, thank you.”
And Henry Kissinger better watch out, because Barbara now has the time to bone his glasses off. Break out the Astroglide!
via Hollywood Life