While getting drunk with Australian radio hosts Kyle and Jackie O at a dinner in NYC the other night, Goopy Paltrow continued to whine about how the Met Gala sucked (translation: if she wanted to be around that much down river trash, she would’ve went to Arby’s), was too crowded (translation: full of Z-list gutter whores) and she also said that they’re all too old to be dressing punk (translation: She knows she looked like a hot pink skid mark and she was jealous of Madge’s old ass). Goopy then told Kyle and Jackie O that the melodramatic tantrum queen that is Kanye West threw a little hissy fit during his performance, because Kanye is Kanye and his heart will stop beating if he doesn’t act like a twat at least once a day:
“Kanye West was playing and he was all furious and he threw his microphone down and it was all drama. I don’t know why.”
“I don’t know why…” Um, because Kanye is always a glum cunt (copyright: Mad Mel Gibson) and freaks out over everything. He probably yells at his shits when they’re not shaped right. And he yells at his peen when it doesn’t cum while he’s fapping in the mirror. Then when he does cum, he yells at his cum, because if it wasn’t for his cum he would’ve never knocked up a Kartrashian.
If only gravity was random…. If it was, that mic would’ve bounced back up and hit him in the face. It would’ve been yet another point for inanimate objects.
And if you want to hear Goopy talk about her vagina looking like that of an 8-year-old, here’s her full talk with Kyle and Jackie O.