The Betty Ford Center Will Never Be The Same Again

May 10, 2013 / Posted by:

For the next few weeks, The Betty Ford Center will be known as the halfway house for Charlie Sheen’s down-and-out hos, because two members of his crackubine harem are drying out in there.

After Brooke Mueller’s twins were taken out of her home and given to Denise Richards, she checked herself into rehab to deal with an addiction to prescription pills (that’s what her rep, yes she has one, says anyway). TMZ says that Brooke is trying to get clean in Betty Ford, the same place where Lindsay Lohan is staying for the next few weeks (or until she drives every member of the staff crazy and they become crackheads themselves and set her free).

TMZ’s source says that Brooke and LiLo are staying in the hospital wing of Betty Ford and have already bumped into each other. I think the source meant “did bumps together,” but I’m not sure.

This could end one of two ways: Brooke and LiLo could join forces, rally up the other patients, raid the locked medicine cabinet and burn Betty Ford’s legacy down to the ground. It’d sort of be like Crackhead of the Flies. Or maybe Brooke and LiLo will look at each other’s methed-out faces and think to themselves, “Gross, I don’t want to be THAT messy,” and sober up. If that happens, the Southern California drug industry will be on the verge of collapsing and sad Charlie Sheen will miserably walk the streets while holding a sign that reads, “Save the Coke Industry! Snort A Line Today!”

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