In case you didn’t already know from looking at her, Avril Lavigne is never growing up and when she’s 50, she’ll be in the backyard of some abandoned house, downing wine coolers as the 13-year-old sk8r bois do ollies in the empty pool.
The Hot Topic Pikachu put out a video for her new single “Here’s To Never Hitting Puberty’ and in it she wears her old outfit from the Complicated video, whine yodels at a prom and trashes a school hallway with a bunch of teenagers. Bitch is 28 years old and spraying champagne at a bunch of high schoolers! Shouldn’t she be on a list or something?
Believe it or not, this isn’t the most embarrassing thing the Canadian Peter Pan has done. Getting engaged to the humanized Top Ramen brick will always hold that title.
Maybe Avril Lavigne stays looking like a 14-year-old circa 2002, because she really has no choice. She’s smeared so much black tar on her eyes that she can’t get it off and so she’s going to look that way forever. When you’ve got permanent black paint eyes like that, you can either retreat to the mountains of China and live the rest of your life as a panda or you can keep your Kohl’s version of punk rock look.