Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Treadmill dancer who has treadmill danced his way into the Internet’s mostly dead heart! If dancing on workout equipment was an art (which it totally is), then this artist would be the Baryshnikov of that world.
The gym is a dreadful, soul-sucking place filled with unnaturally colored walls (see: that puke orange to the right), TVs playing CNN all the time and juicy pits, but sometimes magical things happen in there. Examples: Me finding a brand new Snickers bar in a locker once (it wasn’t poisoned, I ate it and didn’t die) and this dude dancing on the treadmill like he’s dancing on Saturn’s rings. He’s dancing like he doesn’t give a shit what the calorie counter on that machine says. He’s dancing like his psychiatrist just diagnosed him as Virtually Insane. He’s dancing like he doesn’t care about the fact that if he made one wrong step this video would go from “this guy’s got sweet moves” to “hahahah look at this asshole fall on the treadmill.” That would never happen, though, because he’s a master. The treadmill is his stage.
The only thing missing from this video are back-up dancers (aka Amanda Bynes on an elliptical and the Beyonce of the treadmills), an audience and 12 bouquets of roses falling at his feet.