Backdoor Teen Mom’s Sex Tape Summed Up With One Screen Shot

Vivid released Teen Mom Farrah’s “private” backdoor sex tape today and if the full video is anything like the 5-minute-long clip, then watching saliva dry on a white paper plate is more fap worthy than watching Farrah’s concrete pyramid titties not move while James Deen humps her from the back. Farrah’s soulless dead eyes say it all. I mean, that TV and speaker in the background have more sexual chemistry than Backdoor Ferret (typo and it stays) and James Deen have.

Farrah’s acting skills are about as lifeless her titty cones, which I swear were filled with quick drying cement instead of silicone, because I don’t think I saw them move once. When James Deen was hitting it from the front, I expected him to pull out orange halves to make orange juice on her rock hard cone tits. You could break blocks of ice on those tits.

Farrah says “cock” and “baby” in her annoying voice so many times that by the end of the clip, I wanted to poke out my ear drums with her pointy tits.

If you really want to see Farrah lazily blow James’ soft peen like she’s brushing her teeth at the end of a long day and squirt (WHY!!!?) after doing herself with a glass dildo in the back of a limo, then put on your NSFW head mask and (NSFW) click here to see the 5 minute clip and go to Drunken Stepfather to see the clip of Backdoor Ferret squirting.

And Farrah is still trying to make us think it was a private sex tape:

I don’t even have the strength to respond to that, because I’m still traumatized from hearing Backdoor Ferret say, “Was my ass tight, baby?”

With all that being, Backdoor Ferret got almost $1 million for boning and the only thing I get after boning is directions to the front door.