Earlier when I wrote about Sugar Bear and Mama June’s Cinco de Mayonnaise wedding, I said that she would make the most beautimous bride the world has ever seen and she would redefine bridal elegance. I wasn’t telling any lies. Looking like she’s ready to hide in the forest and tackle an unsuspecting wild hog, Mama June walked down the aisle in her backyard today wearing a gorgeous gown custom made by Cabela’s hunting store and bedazzled sneakers. Even Mama June’s stack of pancakes chins look like they’re glowing. She must’ve moisturized them with melted Country Crock. It’s her beauty secret.
Mama June married her piece of 9 years Sugar Bear in front of TLC’s cameras, the paparazzi and their friends and family in George today. Honey Boo Boo, Chickadee, Chubbs and Pumpkin were all in the wedding party, which looked like Halloween hitting candies wrapped in camouflage out of a piñata.
This is a redneck dream wedding and you can practically see the hillbilly angels blessing this beloved event with holy moonshine. I’ll be disappointed if Mama June and Sugar Bear’s guests didn’t throw uncooked grits at them and I’ll be really disappointed if they didn’t skip the first dance and wrestle a possum together instead.