I love to drunk watch David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding on WE, because it makes the dead organ that is my heart beat for a second when he tells a bride that the wedding dress she bought is tacky trash and it makes the dead organ that is my heart beat for two seconds when the bridesmaids tell the bride that the dress she picked out for them is tacky trash. Well, now David is going from designing weddings to designing his own divorce party, because he has quit his husband of 10 years Ryan Jurica. David and Ryan are expecting twins via a surrogate this summer, so they’re fighting over two unborn babies too. The Kramer vs. Kramer drama of it all!
TMZ says that David and Ryan got married in Vermont in 2003, but they live in California, where same-sex marriage isn’t recognized, so they filed for a domestic partnership. David wants the domestic partnership shredded to a million pieces the same way he shreds all those tacky wedding dresses. David doesn’t want to pay Ryan any spousal support and he also wants full legal and physical custody of their twins. David is willing to give Ryan visitation rights, but that’s it. And David wants Ryan to pay for all the legal fees related to their split.
David is coming at a bitch hard, so I’m guessing Ryan did something major to set him off. Maybe Ryan’s peen wandered over to a side piece, or worse, maybe Ryan told David that one of his wedding centerpieces was ugly. Whatever the case may be, this is going to get messy, because I’ve seen Jason Bateman and Adam Lamber’s wax love child fight with brides. He does not play. David and Ryan are going to fight at the foot of the surrogate’s coochie when those babies come out. They’re going to push the doctor out of the way and try to snatch each twin away. Put the cameras on them, WE!