Afternoon Crumbs

April 29, 2013 / Posted by:

My chihuahua and Leonardo DiCaprio have something else in common: they both like to make face love to the sun – Videogum

Those aren’t cupping marks on Chris Martin’s body! Those are burn marks from when Goopy Paltrow punished him for eating Oreos in their bed – Lainey Gossip 

How can I even focus on Rocky the musical when I’m too busy getting hypnotized by Sylvester Stallone’s brows, which look like two angry ferrets arching their backs and preparing to attack –  Towleroad

Aubrey O’Day posing topless in front of the parking lot of an empty warehouse has to be a metaphor for something – Drunken Stepfather

Michael Jordan got married again, because what’s the point of having all that money if you’re not going to waste it on a multi-million dollar wedding and an eventual divorce settlement? – Celebitchy

The asshole doesn’t fall far from the asshole tree – The Superficial 

I like the dress Miley Cyrus is wearing, but only because it’s something She-Ra would wear if she was going to turn tricks by the train tracks – Hollywood Tuna 

I’ll take #1 through #28 to go, please and thank you – The Berry 

How hasn’t Tommy Girl dropped a contract in this hot beard’s lap yet? – Popoholic

Did Jennifer Lawrence just play a game where she had to make a complete outfit out of crap found in a Salvation Army bin? – ICYDK

Martha Stewart should forget Match.com and be the next Bachelorette instead – Jezebel

Jamie Foxx might be Daddy Warbucks in the Annie remake…….. – HuffPo

Did Madge have the piano wires in her face pulled tighter or is she wearing a mask made of painted porcelain? – Just Jared

Tim Tebow is out of a job, which means he’ll be doing hardcore gay porn in 3..2.. – IDLYITW

Back to Selling L.A. for Marisa Zanuck Reality Tea

Tom Welling still exists and is looking hotter – SOW

Did JLo go through Casper Smart’s drawer and think that his bottle of butt lube was moisturizer, because she looks so shiny – Popsugar

Hugh Laurie’s gone silver – I’m Not Obsessed

That otter totally got into and ate their stash of E – Hollywood Rag

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