Shocking News Of The Day: Weed Found On A Stoner Toddler’s Tour Bus

I think we’re all going to need some weed to process all of the foolery in this picture of Justin Bieber with his bodyguard. This child probably thinks that he looks like the next Michael Jackson when he really looks like an unused sex slave in Kunty Karl’s S&M sex dungeon. Little asshole is putting the pussy in Pussy Riot. While I can appreciate the double zippers (easy access!) on his hot bodyguard’s onesie, the shamed look on that grown dude’s face is telling me that the millionaire child made him wear that pajama party uniform. I kind of want to make like Justin Bieber’s fedora and fall back out of this whole scene. Moving on to other Bieber news….

TMZ says that at around 7pm in Stockholm, Sweden last night, police smelled the sweet scent of the good shit wafting out of Justin Bieber’s tour bus, which was parked in front of the Grand Hotel. While they were getting a warrant to search the bus, the bus drove to the Globe Arena. When it got to the Globe Arena, the cops and a special narcotics unit searched the bus and found a small stash of drugs (the local newspapers are saying it was weed) and an unlicensed stun gun. Aftonbladet says that when the cops got on the bus, the Bieber’s back-up dancers started screaming “No weed!” and “Shit, the stash!” 

The bus was empty at the time, so nobody will be charged and the stash was found on the floor, so it’s impossible to say who brought it on.

Meanwhile, as that was going on, Justin Bieber tweeted, “i love lamp.” I guess we now know that Justin Bieber’s favorite movie to get stoned to is Anchorman.

Personally, I think that weed should be legalized everywhere and I should be able to pick up a baggie at the checkout counter at Target. But I wouldn’t open my lips to protest if Sweden wants to temporarily pass a law that states that if weed is found on the tour bus of a yodeling Canadian fetus, that yodeling Canadian fetus must immediately be jailed for the rest of his life! Thanks to his “Channel” ski mask, the Biebs would be the most fashionable prison bitch on the cell block.

(Pic via Vulture)