American Idol Tried To Replace Mariah Carey With JLo Mid-Season

April 24, 2013 / Posted by:

American Idol put the Unicornie Rainbow Empress of Happy Sunshine Hello Kitties on its judges’ panel this season, because they thought that she’d bring millions of eyeballs to their show and they’d be #1 again. The opposite happened. After the season premiere, the ratings started sagging lower than the extra-meaty fur dumplings on Simon Cowell’s chest and it’s making the producers and FOX freak out.

The Hollywood Reporter says that a few weeks ago, producers tried to shake things up by pushing Mimi out to bring JLo back. When Mimi found out about their scheme, her team of lawyers threatened to sue them and Ryan Seacrest started to cry thinking that his anal bleaching budget would be cut, so the producers backed off. They decided that once the season ends, they’ll replace Mimi, Nicki Minaj and possibly Randy Jackson and Keith Urban.

The producers thought that putting Mimi and Nicki at the same table would make the show’s ratings touch the rainbows, because who doesn’t love watching a shade-throwing fight between two Garanimals on acid? But a source says that viewers hate Mimi and Nicki’s dynamic and “the core viewer is a midwestern, Southern, older woman who is threatened by Nicki’s aggressiveness.”

FOX denied all of this and Idol’s producer Nigel Lythgoe told THR that he knows nothing of this.

I stopped regularly watching Idol after they dropped Paula Abdul, because it just wasn’t the same without that human Vicodin pill of a mess. It’s like showing up to a family gathering and finding out that your drunk auntie isn’t there. You sit there, eating cold chicken and overcooked rice with soggy carrots in it, but you just can’t have a good time without your drunk auntie falling into potted plants and calling you by your sister’s name.

After Paula left, Idol became all about the judges. I couldn’t even tell you the first names of the past 5 white dudes who won. Idol should just drop the singing part, reboot that mess and call it The Search For The Next American Idol Judge, because the behind-the-scenes crap sounds way more exciting than anything that happens on that stage.

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >