Yes, I moved my brows up and down while writing that headline.
When Prince Hot Ginge visited the North Pole a couple of years ago, his piping hot nalgas melted all of the ice and all that’s left of it is a tiny ice cube floating on an icy cold ocean. And now he’s about to do the same thing to the South Pole. PHG announced today in London that the penguins of the South Pole are all going to get major lipstick this November, because he’s going to race across Antarctica. The Walking with the Wounded South Pole Allied Challenge will start in November and end in December. PHG will join one of three teams of wounded veterans and they’ll all race to the South Pole. PHG said this to reporters today:
“The aim remains the same. To enable our wounded servicemen and women to do what they do better than anyone else I know. To meet a challenge head on and inspire others to do the same. We are not allowed to officially call it a race, but I think we all know what will happen. These men and women have given their all in the cause of freedom. That they should once again step into the breach, this time facing down the extreme mental and physical challenges of trekking to the South Pole just underlines their remarkable qualities. Toughness of mind; an unquenchable spirit that refuses to say ‘I am beaten’.”
Note to self: Go on your credit card’s website today and check to see if charging your rent, your taxes and everything else earned you enough miles to get you to Antarctica. Because when PHG takes off all his panties while playing strip billiards with the sluttier penguins, I want to be there.