Kim Kardashian Is Finally Free To Marry Her Next Publicity Stunt Husband

April 19, 2013 / Posted by:

With everything that’s going on, I’m sure the number question on your mind has been, “BUT WHERE’S ALL THE KARTRASHIAN NEWS?!” Ask and you shall receive!

TMZ says that Kim Kardashian’s 10-second-long marriage to Kris Humphries is legally over and she’s finally free to continue to stomp on the pile of horse bones dust that is the sanctity of marriage. Pimp Mama Kris must’ve agreed to give Kris Humphries his soul back if he agreed to drop the annulment shit and walk away with zero dollars, because that’s what happened in court today. Kris wanted an annulment based on fraud and he wanted Kim to drop $7 million into his checking account, but he didn’t get any of that. He’s getting a regular divorce and Kim isn’t paying him shit. Kris will also have to pay his own attorney fees.

Radar says that the divorce will be made official sometime in June.

That’s that, so now you can officially go back to not giving a shit. And the ogre version of Taylor Lautner can climb back up the beanstalk, because he has failed us all. And all of us can go and unplug our TVs, because it’s only a matter of time before Kim is lifting Kanye’s bridal veil during their televised STUNT QUEEN wedding on E!.

Here’s Kim with Scottie Pippen’s wife in Beverly Hills yesterday. The black lace veil over her bump is a perfect touch, because the Kimye fetus has been mourning its future since day one.

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