Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 19, 2013 / Posted by:

Holotka! 

Thank you to Videogum for introducing me to the bad ass bitch brilliance of my new favorite auto-tuned nightingale Holotka! I’m guessing that Ark Music Factory, the ear-haters who brought us Rebecca Black, opened up a new department for recent divorcees who want to spend all their settlement money on becoming YouTube stars. That’s the only explanation for this masterpiece.

The Rebecca Black for the menopausal set is teaching all of us how to be a bad ass bitch and how to bitch it up. To be a bad ass bitch, you have to walk around the streets with empty bags from designer stores, steal Rebecca Black’s boyfriend, make out with hos half your age, visit your friends at the retirement home and throw an exclusive daytime party in the VIP section of your condo (the living room, your VIP section is the living room). That’s how bad ass bitches really bitch it up!

Since you want to know everything about this supreme bad ass bitch, here’s a few facts about Holotka from the bio on her website. Surprisingly, nowhere in her bio does it say that she auditioned for The Real Housewives of Atlanta five times.

She’s glamorous, sexy, beautiful, controversial, smart, spontaneous, impractical, unpredictable, fun, funny, and a wonderful and talented pop and rap artist/singer and songwriter… she’s: HOLOTKA! 

Not only is Holotka beautiful and athletic, but extremely bright and intelligent. She was a straight “A” and honor roll student and was elected to student council. Unfortunately, while in high school, Holotka suddenly and unexpectedly lost one of her greatest fans – her dad! 

While most top colleges would have welcomed Holotka with open arms, she decided to stay local due to her very close relationship with her mom and the untimely death of her dad. 

Holotka has a knack for writing lyrics, and performing happy songs that encourage you to laugh off life and just enjoy! She has been taken by surprise with her newly found gift for writing and singing and now this is Holotka’s solace and pleasure. Holotka enjoys life living between Atlanta and South Florida, and she writes and records her music everywhere! 

When it comes to writing her songs, Holotka is most comfortable in her birthday suit, relaxed in a king sized bed, and surrounded by dozens of notebooks and Mont Blanc’s. So if you plan on spending the night, you may leave with some pen wounds!

I’m convinced that Kimber from Nip/Tuck was based on a real person and that real person is HOLOTKA!

And here’s another splash of musical champagne for your ears from Madonna’s new cougar idol.

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