Janet Jackson Is Quitting Show Business To Be A Billionaire Housewife In The Middle East

Janet Jackson figures that why spend hours upon hours in the studio making some album and why crack her rib (wait, does she still have those?) touring for months on end when she can just move to the Middle East, put on some couture gown, lay on a unicorn fur chaise and let her servants feed her canary diamonds. Janet Jackson got married on the down low last year to Qatari billionaire Wissam Al Mana and has moved to the Middle East to slather herself in pure luxury 24 hours a day.

A source tells Showbiz 411 that Janet is living in the Middle East now and has converted to Islam. The source said, “She’s gone. She married a billionaire. They’ve got houses in three countries. She’s spending time in the Middle East. She’s become a Muslim.”

“She’s gone. She married a billionaire.” Don’t you just close your eyelids at night and wish that somebody would say that about your ass?

I don’t see the problem here. Janet’s married to a billionaire with a big peen (his nose tells me so) and she’s got a million servants who can answer the phone and say, “She’s gone. She married a billionaire,” when her family members call looking for a loan.