It is truly a sad, sad day for demure beauties who like to wear coochie cutters with UGGs and a bridal thong bikini to their wedding, because one of the vanguards of the modern-day whore look, Pamela Anderson, told Buzzfeed at the International Beauty Show in NYC on Monday that since she’s getting older, she’s decided to tone down her signature look a little bit. To which I say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Canadian pearl says that for years, hos have been trying to get her to take off the fake eyelashes and put on more clothes. Pamela always told them to fuck off, because she knows what glamour is and glamour IS looking like a seasoned boardwalk hooker who doesn’t mind a little sand in her oyster. But now that Pamela is creeping toward 50, she says that she’s gettin’ a little too old for that whorey look, darlin’.
Buzzfeed: When in your life did you first feel beautiful?
Pamela: Well, it wasn’t today (laughs). I’m kidding. Oh, god, I don’t know if I ever really felt beautiful. I always feel like I don’t — I don’t, really.
Buzzfeed: You’re something of a beauty maximalist. So do people ever try to make you under?
Pamela: Actually a lot of people, especially when I was on Baywatch. They were insisting that I didn’t wear eyelashes, but I said, “I have my look, this is what I’m comfortable in.” Sometimes my eyelashes would roll up onto the beach and that’s all that would be left of me. But I was determined to be glamorous. Oh, I loved it, I LOVED it. I thought, “If you’re going to be on TV, and if you’re gonna be out and glamorous, the natural look can stay at home. If we’re gonna do this, let’s have fun with it!” I actually just did a shoot lately, and they took all the makeup off and put me in a ponytail, and I said, “Well, OK, we’ll try that.”
Buzzfeed: How did you feel about it?
Pamela: Well, everyone was happy about it and liked it, and so, well, we’ll see what it looks like. It was Mario Testino, so I can’t argue with him! And he loved it, so, we’ll see.
Buzzfeed: So people try to tone down your sex appeal because you’re known for being so hot?
Pamela: I don’t know if it’s because I’m so hot, but they definitely try to tone down my sex appeal. I think it’s time, though — you know, you grow up and you change your look. I feel different from how I did in my Playboy days. Now, I think I’m in charge of toning down my look or not. I feel like as I’m getting older, this is my version of toned down (gestures to hair and outfit). I like it.
To which I say again, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, if Pamela Anderson wants to turn her back on a community of old whores who have looked up to her all these years by covering her body and doing her hair up like a Shih Tzu caught in a tornado, then that’s fine. But if she turns her back on all the white girl cholas by erasing her praying mantis leg eyebrows, I will never ever forgive her!