Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 17, 2013 / Posted by:

Ice Cream Cones Cereal!

In 1987, General Mills decided that the children of America really needed to be fatter and filled with more sugar, so they gave us ice cream cones for breakfast! Why wait until later in the day to have ice creams when you can have it right after the sun came up? Whenever I ate too much sugar, I turned into a hyena high on meth and Red Bull, so my mom never bought us sugary cereal. But my friend’s mom served him orange soda for breakfast, so of course she bought him this shit. It was the only time I got to experience Ice Cream Cones Cereal. I didn’t even eat it like regular cereal. I picked up the tiny cones and licked on the tiny foam ball like it was a real ice cream cone (yes, I was slow and yes, I was that kid who licked windows right after they were Windexed.)

Ice Cream Cones Cereal was pulled off the shelves a year after it made its debut, because this country just wasn’t ready for a nutritional cereal with 4 wholesome grains and 8 vitamins and iron.

Ice Cream Cones Cereal may be dead, but that annoying ass song and Ice Cream Cones Jones’ voice will stay inside of my head forever.

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