A Touch Of Class: Beyonce’s Bedazzled Nipples Launch Her New World Tour

April 16, 2013 / Posted by:

Beyonce’s Mrs. Carter World Tour opened in Belgrade, Serbia last night and most of her costumes were the same old, tired House of Dereon rags she always wears, but then she redefined the meaning of demure when she came out in a rhinestone-encrusted bodysuit with built-in sparkle tits. I really don’t know what’s more elegant: Beyonce’s slow queef facial expression or her glittery frog eyes tits? Definitely the latter. Throw as much hate as you want, but Beyonce’s bedazzled tits and abs still look more natural than Mariah Carey’s spray-on abs.

You know, Beyonce’s chest chichis probably look like that naturally after Blue Ivy Carter breastfeeds, because the chosen one always leaves a trail of halo dust and diamond flakes when she suckles on her mom’s nip. Wait, you’re right. Blue Ivy Carter doesn’t breastfeed. She gets nourishment from feeding off the fear of Destiny’s Stepchildren (aka Farrah and Michelle) as they give her a pedicure.

And I hope Beyonce’s reptilian tits bodysuit is just the beginning and soon we’ll be seeing her in a bodysuit with bedazzled pussy lips and a ruby-encrusted anus.

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