While reading Robert Downey Jr.’s interview with GQ, I learned that he made $50 million for The Avengers, always carries around a vial of antiparasitics (for when he’s about to eat sushi or breathe in the same air as a Kardashian), has four alpacas and thinks he’s one of the best actors around who will have his hands around Oscar’s tiny ass cheeks one day.
I guess RDJ once said that he thinks he’s always the most talented ho on the set, so GQ asked him if he really thinks that. RDJ said he did, but he also said that Hollywood is full of crap actors who have the emotional range of a dried up nipple pimple, so that’s not saying much.
GQ: But I still believe that you think you’re almost always the most talented person there.
RDJ: Yeah, but you know what? I’m afraid that’s just a tape that’s running in my head, and I’m really happy that it’s there, but it doesn’t make it real.
GQ: And so if you stop that tape running for a second, how talented are you?
RDJ: I’m probably one of the best.
GQ: That was you speaking, and not the tape?
RDJ: Yeah. But it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like this is the greatest swath or generation of actors that has ever come down the pike.
GQ: What are you bad at as an actor?
RDJ: Tons. Everything I avoid. I don’t like opening doors and looking surprised. I can do all that emo stuff, but I’m so over everyone who has to have a meltdown— everybody is emotional all the time. In movies people seem to be more emotional than they would ever be if that situation was actually happening to them.
RDJ was nominated for Chaplin and he lost, which he says made him frown for a second. When he was nominated again for Tropic Thunder, he knew he was going to lose, because he was up against Heath Ledger. RDJ says he doesn’t mind going to the Oscars and watching other hos win, because he knows it’ll be his turn one day.
GQ: How much would you like to win an Oscar?
RDJ: I couldn’t care less.
RDJ: Well, I know it’s going to happen.
GQ: Is that the persona or the person speaking?
RDJ: That’s just a fact.
GQ: You’re certain?
RDJ: I, personally, would be shocked if we went to the end of the tape now and I didn’t have at least one.
RDJ: Because it just doesn’t make sense. That’s why I don’t mind showing up and watching everybody else get them.
GQ: Why doesn’t it make sense?
RDJ: Because I’m young enough, and I’m running down being occupied with these kind of genre movies, close enough. Even the next thing we’re doing with the missus, I’m so confident about it. It’s the best script the studio has; it’s the best thing I’ve read in years. You know, honestly, my real answer to that is: I don’t care. I used to think I cared, and I couldn’t care less. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t get a little choked up, but it is amazing to see how people are literally hyperventilating when they get up there, because they have such an attachment to this outcome. I mean, it’s not like we’re at the fucking Olympics or something. Look, even if I don’t get one directly, eventually they’re just going to have to give me one when I get old. So no matter how you slice it, I’m getting one.
“People are literally hyperventilating when they get up there…” RDJ, I see you throwing a little shade at GOOPY Paltrow for nearly hyperventilating out of her pink princess dress when she was an Oscar for being a pretty bland girl with famous parents. RDJ isn’t telling any lies, though. He will win an Oscar one day and if he doesn’t, somebody will win one for playing Robert Downey Jr. in The Robert Downey Jr. Story and I’m sure they’ll hyperventilate out of their panties when they win.