MTV got Brad Pitt to the MTV Movie Awards last night by leaving a trail of weed buds from his front door to the Sony Pictures Studio in Los Angeles and they got him to present the last award by giving him a giant bowl of Taco Bell meat and Funyuns stew. Brad Pitt showed up to the MTV Movie Awards looking so damn stoned that I bet if you sucked his mouth while plugging his ear holes with your fingers, you’d breathe in a huge cloud of weed smoke. Dude is a human bong.
Brad pulled his greasy locks into a ponytail and I know I’m supposed to hate it, but I don’t. I can’t hate it, because bitch has lunch lady hair. Lunch lady hair is the look. If you threw a hairnet over his head, he’d look like he should be throwing down a greasy slice of square pizza on your pastel green lunch tray.
Brad Pitt also has the same hairstyle as this cholo grandpa who would ride around my cousin’s neighborhood on a little boy’s bicycle and he’d sing oldies at the top of his lungs. Brad Pitt’s cholo grandpa look would be complete if he wore a clear shower cap, a gold cross necklace and had some kind of neck tattoo.
So what I’m saying is that Brad Pitt’s lunch lady/cholo grandpa hair IS the look.
And here’s also some pictures of St. Angie and an emo-ized Maddox at LAX.