Michael Lohan Thinks Lindsay Lohan Is Going To Flunk Rehab

Here’s Lindsay Lohan at JFK last night where she was getting on a plane to L.A. for the Scary Movie 5 premiere tonight and Coachella this weekend. While LiLo chased her liver around because it dropped out of her ass after hearing that she’s going to Coochella tomorrow, her beloved father Michael Lohan called TMZ because he hasn’t gotten attention for a few seconds.

Michael Lohan graduated from the same fancy rehab in the Hamptons where LiLo is going for 90 days, so TMZ asked him about the place and also asked him if he thinks she’s going to jump back on the bad shit as soon as she gets out. Michael basically said that LiLo will probably fail rehab the same way he failed at parenting.

Michael Lohan on if LiLo will have a hard time quitting cigarettes since the place is a smoke-free zone: She’s battling with drugs, pills and cocaine, so imagine coming off of cigarettes too. Not to mention that she has to detox once she gets in there and that’s really tough.

Michael Lohan on if LiLo will have a permanent seat on the wagon after rehab: I’m praying to God she will, to be honest with you. Honestly, I hope so, but I don’t think so.

Michael Lohan on LiLo going to Coachella this weekend: I think it is one of the worst idea she could’ve ever had.

We should all hope that rehab works and LiLo becomes a responsible, sane and law-abiding citizen of humanity who doesn’t fuck up every second of the day. Because if that happens, then the mutated ass dingle that is Michael Lohan won’t have anything to talk to the media about anymore.