The Look: Tom Cruise’s Hot Turtleneck And Blazer Combo

Tommy Girl’s titties are sitting up real nice in that turtleneck and that dude in the glasses definitely agrees with me. He is taken with Tommy’s titty game and then some.

Tommy has never been accused of being the sharpest tool in the shed, but at last night’s Hollywood premiere of Oblivion, everybody accused him of being the sharpest bitch on the carpet. Turtlenecks are just crew neck sweaters with foreskin, so course Tommy worked that top like the alien invasion is coming and this is the last time we’ll ever see him. I hope Tommy doubled up on panties last night, because you know he was squirting out barley nectar just from thinking about how he had wool foreskin around his neck. I don’t know if it’s the uncut peen sweater or if he put an extra pair of lifts in his shoes, but he almost looks statuesque. Work it till those Thetans gag on your fabulousness, bitch.

And here’s Melissa Leo and Olga Kurylenko trying to out-glamour Tommy last night. (They failed.)