The New York law offices of Scooby Doo & Associates are going to be busy as hell the next few weeks, because Amanda Bynes is going to sue every single person who calls her batshit crazy.
Amanda went off on Twitter today and promised to sue every magazine, news source, blogger and Twitter follower who dare post paparazzi pictures of her and say that she’s doing something wrong. I’m going to get sued for posting this and you’re going to get sued for reading this and our computers are going to get sued for transmitting this information, so once we’re all done here we should call Johnnie Cochrane and ask him to save us. Here’s Amanda’s warning to us all:
I’m suing every blog, every magazine, every news source that’s saying I’m doing anything wrong “erratic behavior” is not me! I’m suing In Touch, Us Weekly, Perez Hilton for hiring paparazzi who follow me then take the worst photos with the worst angles. I’d like to put up their worst photos on my twitter until they only start putting up my twitter photos when writing a story when there is NO story, just an awful photo posted with instead of a caption, they say I have erratic behavior when I do NOTHING wrong. There’s NOTHING with my life, other than you putting up awful candid photo after photo. I’m working out, it’s hard getting in shape with an eating disorder. Please follow me on twitter then look forward to be sued if you if say I have erratic behavior or am living my life wrong in anyway.
Then Amanda told E! that she loves them, but unfortunately, she’s going to have to sue them too.
@eonline please post my pics anytime! I had to shave my head because of hair damage from someone @ John Barrett so I’m not loving my paparazzi pics for a few years! I have extensions but you can see them! Loving your shows but suing you for spreading lies about me on your website! Thanks for being my fan! True friends don’t spread lies about me so I can’t follow anyone from your network on twitter. I’ll sue you everytime you post a lie with a paparazzi shot, I tell you everything that is going on about me on twitter. Only choose the paparazzi pics that I select and post on twitter and my personal pics when talking about me! I tweet all day about nothing just like everybody on the face of the earth! Thanks!
@eonline I never know when they’re taking photos, but instead of the ones you (Us Weekly, In Touch, @PerezHilton) choose, pick the best one then say I’m walking around for exercise because that and tweeting is all you’ll ever catch me doing. I’m suing you for all the lies you’ve all written in the past to have the stories and photos deleted of me from the Internet!
The short version of Amanda’s tweets is: SUED! SUED! SUED! See you all at Judge Judy!
Below are some pictures of the busiest plaintiff in the world in NYC the other day. I know Amanda told us not to use paparazzi pictures of her, but whenever somebody tells me not to do something, I’m going to do it. This cat knows what I’m talking about.
Oh, and that cat? Yup, it’s going to get sued.