Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 9, 2013 / Posted by:

Semenology, the cocktail cookbook that puts the cock in cocktail. (Note: If the heaves are crawling up your throat right now, let me try to make it feel better by telling you that picture is really just watered down goat milk and flat Coke.)

Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer’s fascination with using dick milk in everything has taken his cum-guzzling ass to the liquor cabinet. Over four years ago, Paul shot out Scientology’s unofficial cookbook “Natural Harvest: A Collection Of Semen-Based Recipes” and he’s following that up with a mixology book full of man chowder-based cocktails. It’s the perfect book to have if the Kardashians, John Travolta or Paris Hilton regularly show up to your cocktail parties. Paul’s book teaches nut leche-lovers how to make cocktails like a Mexican Cumslide (Side note: Paul is probably going to hear from Kat Von D’s lawyers, because that’s what she calls her chocha and she has that name trademarked and everything), a Watermon Gin Jizz and a Slightly Salty Caviar. For all those recipes, you have to milk a peen to get the main ingredient.

Paul’s book also includes tips on how to make dick yogurt taste better (you sprinkle ginger in it) and how to make it last longer (you put it in the freezer). Paul also says different dudes jizz out different-tasting splooge. So if you’re in the mood for something that is powdery, crusty and has a strange chemical aftertaste, milk a Hugh Hefner! If you’re in the mood for something coagulated, rotten, diseased and full of pieces of torn-off crab legs, milk a Gerard Butler! If you’re in the mood for something that tastes like liquid rainbows infused with a unicorn’s kiss, milk an Anderson Cooper!

But Paul tells SFWeekly that shouldn’t use just anyone’s cock cream and he also explained why he’s obsessed with using spank sauce in food:

“For me, it’s more of a fun twist to add to food, or in this case a drink. It adds a definite personal twist to it. I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with.

If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen — I mean, it’s your semen. Then I started thinking about it. People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.”

SFWeekly also talked to an infectious disease specialist and professor at the Berkeley School of Public Health and he said that eating jizz that isn’t thoroughly cooked isn’t a good idea since a bunch of STDs can be transmitted through raw semen.

With that said, the next time you’re giving your piece a beej, grab a cocktail glass and some vodka and turn that moment in a White Russian party! Or if you’re a purist, just drink it straight out of the tap. Cheers!

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