The Gospel According To Goopy: Brunettes Have More Fun

April 9, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s a picture that Demi Lovato tweeted after meeting Goopy Paltrow at a lounge in LAX last night and I’m sure that sometime during their conversation, Goopy said to her, “I am so jealous of your homely, mousy, undetectable poop-colored hair. You get to have so much more fun than me!” Because Goopy Paltrow told the UK’s Stylist Magazine (via Yahoo via Celebitchy) that the saying “blondes have more fun” must’ve come from a book of lies and fairytales. Goop says that brown-headed girls have way more fun, because nobody cares about them and everybody is too busy staring at stunning angels with golden hair.

“I don’t understand the whole idea of blondes having more fun. I’d say brunettes have more fun as they can go under the radar a little bit more. People are just waiting for blondes to get drunk and fall down, because we’re so visible.”

I love how she tried to humble down that quote by saying “get drunk and fall down.” You know she really wanted to say “People are just waiting for blondes to sprout wings and explode into rays of sunshine since we’re angelic goddess of light and are way better and prettier than caca-haired homelies.” I think that’s what she really meant to say. I always love a classic backhanded comment from Goopy. It reminds me of when I was in this chick’s clothing store in Manhattan with my sister and one skinny ho said to her rubenesque friend, “You’re so lucky you can wear plus-sizes. My size always sells out first!” That bitch was totally a disciple of GOOP!

Here’s Goopy and Demi walking through JFK yesterday. UsWeekly says that they’re wearing matching outfits, but please. Goopy’s custom-made jacket cost 9,000 euros (you know, because she bought it in Europe) and her denim trousers (only the poors call them “jeans“) were made using cotton from an exclusive cotton farm in Tibet. Demi is basically wearing the budget version of Goop’s look. Get it right, UsWeekly!

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