Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 6, 2013 / Posted by:

Lazarus, the vampire kitten and future therapy cat who medical professionals say has a cleft palate, but I say has a perfect vampire pussy mouth.

Lazarus’ life started out in a bad way. Catster (via HuffPo & Fark) says that when he was only 10 weeks old, he was found wandering the streets of Johnson City, TN. Lazarus was sickly, malnourished, covered in fleas and was suffering from several infections including one in his no-nose area. A student at East Tennessee University found Lazarus and took him to Cindy Chambers, a special education graduate coordinator at the university who’s known for fostering stray animals. Lazarus didn’t look too good, so Cindy immediately drove his ass to the vet.

Cindy was afraid that Lazarus was just a step away from heaven, but after doctors removed his canine teeth, cleaned out all of his infections and treated the diseases in his nasal passages, he fully recovered. Now, at 10 months old, Lazarus lives with Cindy and her seven other dogs and cats, and spends his days thinking about how he vants to suck the milk out of the milk carton. I was going to say that he spends his days thinking about how he vants to suck the blood out of the dogs he lives with, but dog blood is gross, ew.

Cindy says that she’s planning to use Lazarus to open up the minds of children and teach them about disabilities:

“You immediately feel some kind of connection with Lazarus because he has such a great personality and he’s just so loving. His disability really isn’t a focus. He’s just a really awesome cat. Lazarus, he can be a really unique tool for helping children without disabilities understand differences and similarities and how we’re really more alike than different. And he can also be used with, let’s say, children who have cleft palates and kind of watching his process and feeling some type of connection with this kitten.”

Lazarus’ teefs stick up instead of hanging down, so he kind of has upside down vampire fangs. And if you really stare at his mouth, it kind of looks like he’s saying “hang loose” with his teeth. Anyway, I hope Lazarus can find time in between teaching children about disabilities and sucking the life out of a Friskies can to guest star on True Blood. Pam needs a new sidekick who just like her, doesn’t give three shits.

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