And One Second Later, She Sucked His Soul Out And He Turned To Dust

April 5, 2013 / Posted by:

Don’t you just hate that moment when you accidentally step on Angelina Jolie’s warlock gown and you look down at her claw of doom, knowing that’s going to be the last thing you ever see before she wraps her mouth around your face and sucks your soul out, turning you into dust? It’s the worst. It’ll ruin your day. Shit, it’ll ruin your life.

While dressed like the Queen of Istari, Angie was in NYC last night to speak at the 2013 Women in the World Gala and to honor 15-year-old Pakistani education activist Malala Yousafzai. Malala is the teenage girl who got shot in the head by the Taliban for fighting for equal-opportunity education in Pakistan. Here’s a piece of what Angie said (via The Daily Beast):

“There’s a lot you can learn from this little girl. This evening is the beginning. Vital Voices, Women in the World and I started the Malala Fund. It’s not a fund in her name, it’s hers and she’ll be in charge of it. So we believe this is a modest beginning for a big dream and we hope that you will join us. The Taliban shot her at point-bank range in the head, and made her stronger. In a brutal attempt to silence her voice, it grew louder.”

Angie donated $200,000 to the Malala Fund.

And after St. Angie spoke, she dramatically raised her cape, covered her body with it and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. She had to go and fight off the knights trying to invade her fortress. Yeah, I’m pretty sure Maleficent is going to be a documentary.

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