How Could I Forget Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls?!!!!?
In my post about the death of Roger Ebert today, my stupid brain forget to mention one of the greatest achievements of his career: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls! Roger Ebert took a break from reviewing movies for The Chicago Sun-Times to write the X-rated soft-core porn cult classic. The first time I saw it, I was 16ish and my friends and I got drunk on Strawberry Hill, and while they were barfing in bathrooms around the house, I glued my eyes to the screen. I needed to barf too, but I held it down, because I was hypnotized by it. There’s something about being 16 and drunk and watching two hos from the 1970s hump on a round bed. At the Oscars next year, they should give Roger Ebert a posthumous Oscar for co-writing this beautiful mess. I can’t believe I forgot about it.
Tonight, I should drink the black sperm of somebody’s vengeance as punishment for forgetting it. Well, I was going to drink some anyway, but tonight I’ll do it for Roger Ebert.