Brandi Glanville’s Chichis Were At The Bravo Upfronts Yesterday

April 4, 2013 / Posted by:

A thick cloud of oil-based paint fumes, burnt silicone, charred polyester, hairspray and shamelessness swept through Manhattan yesterday, because all of the tricks, tramps and whores from Bravo were in NYC for the Upfronts. Falkor Rimes’ greatest enemy Brandi Glanville took the whole meaning of “Upfronts” to another level by putting her titties under the spotlight. While Gerard Butler’s peen is squinting at this picture and wondering why it feels like it’s seen those chichis before, LeAnn Rimes is copying this look by gluing red-dyed doilies to her plastic chest globes. She’s going to wear that outfit to her stepson’s t-ball game this weekend.

Seeing all the Housewives in the same place together makes me wonder why Bravo hasn’t put all these wrecks in the same show together. They should throw every Housewife in a giant bus and send them across the country. They probably wouldn’t make it ten miles, because they’d all stab each other to death with their clavicle bones while fighting to plug their curling irons into the only outlet in the only bathroom. Greenlight it, Andy!

Here’s just some of the hos at last night’s Upfronts: Falkor enemy #1, Cynthia Bailey from RHoA, NeNe from RHoA (looking like a Mayan cheerleader from the 20s), Kroy with a talking wig, Gorilla Head Giudice from RHoNJ, a human Pinot Grigio bottle from RHoNY, Kenya Moore from RHoA, a lipoed hamster in drag, Joanna Krupa from RHoM, Yolanda with Lisa from RHoBH, Phaedra Parks from RHoA and the messes from Shahs of Sunset.

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