On April 2nd, the paparazzi took pictures of Amanda Bynes with chola burgundy hair and Nike sandals with white socks on her feet. The last part was the biggest cry for help, because you should only wear Adidas sandals with white socks if the year is 2005 and your name is KFed. But that night, Amanda Bynes went on twitter and claimed that somebody was identity thieving her ass. Amanda claimed it wasn’t her in the pictures, because her blond hair has never touched a bowl full of blackberry Kool-Aid hair dye. We all sort of quietly nodded while hiding all the pink wigs, green umbrellas and barber clippers.
Then last night, Amanda tried to clear her name again by tweeting (and deleting) the picture above along with this denial:
That lavender MS Paint splatter says it all.
If Amanda’s sanity is slowly spiraling down the gutter drains on the streets of Times Square, then somebody needs to come and get this child. If this is all just some elaborate, never-ending performance art piece, then somebody needs to come and get this child. If Amanda is just really method and this is all research for her new role in the Lindsay Lohan biopic, then somebody needs to come and get this child. What I’m saying is that whatever the reason for this is, somebody needs to help a ho out, because loved ones don’t let loved ones wear Adidas sandals in the year 2013 no matter what.
You know, when Amanda screamed “IMPOSTOR!” the first time, I looked at the pictures and I actually thought to myself, “Hmmm, maybe that isn’t her.” She got to me! She’s making me believe. This is what she wants me to think!
And somebody really needs to slap a warning label on Kid Cudi’s dick, because this is what happens when you take a spin on it.
Here’s Not Amanda Bynes hiding Not Amanda Bynes’ face in NYC yesterday.