Olivier Martinez Allegedly Kicked A Pap Last Night

Halle Berry, her daughter Nahla and her piece Olivier Martinez were strolling out of LAX last night when they ran into a wall of camera flashes, screams and insanity. The paparazzi were waiting for them at the bottom of the escalator and swarmed all around them as they walked to their SUV. If you don’t want to have a seizure this morning or are still hungover from Easter, don’t play that video. But if you want to feel like you’re at an early 90s rave this morning, turn off the lights, play this video, blast some Prodigy, pop an E and jump, jump, jump. Because this video can easily double as a strobe light.

In the video, Olivier carries Nahla through the sea of paparazzi as Halle Berry screams at everyone. I watched this video and the entire time I thought to myself, “Why are those bitches going crazy? It’s just Halle Berry.” But they keep coming at Halle and Olivier, and right before they get to the SUV, a paparazzo follows them and says, “You push me, why did you push me,” to Olivier. Then the paparazzo puts his hand on Olivier’s back and awakens the French cunt beast. Olivier puts Nahla in the SUV and then goes after the paparazzo before Halle stops him. The three of them drive away and the rest of the video is just the paparazzo talking about how he might press charges, because Olivier kicked his legs.

I don’t know why that paparazzo decided to screw with Olivier Martinez. That bitch is a boxer and he’s crazy. Didn’t he see Gabriel Aubry’s mangled and battered Thanksgiving day face? If you want to end up in the ER with your eyeball embedded into your brain, go ahead and light Olivier’s short fuse. And the next time Halle Berry runs into a wall of paparazzi, she should just hold up DVD copies of her latest shit show The Call. That’ll make anybody run the other way.