Just like she is with everything else, Lindsay Lohan was late to April Fools’ Day and twatted out this pregnancy announcement earlier this morning. In her defense, LiLo uses the cokehead calendar, so she has no idea what day, week, month, year or decade it is. If you could give birth to a FAS-faced 8-ball from snorting mountains of coke and guzzling down gallons of vodka, then I’d believe her. But if she was really pregnant, we’d know it, because she’d immediately give birth to the Four Horsemen and heaven would swallow the earth whole, ending our misery. So the only thing she’s pregnant with is desperation.
And only Lindsay Lohan could make me feel sorry for a fake fetus.