Lindsay Lohan is supposed to check into lockdown rehab (which is probably a thing that only exists in the hazy wonderland in her lawyer’s head) next month, and when/if she does, the only thing she’s going to take with her is an extra large suitcase full of Adderall. TMZ says that during plea negotiations, LiLo only agreed to go to rehab for 90 days if she could keep swallowing down Adderall pills while in there. Because the prosecutors are wrapped so tightly around LiLo’s snortin’ finger that the circulation to their brain is cut off, they said “OK!” They’re letting LiLo take her drug of choice into rehab.
A source tells TMZ that Adderall has been LiLo’s oxygen for years and she can never be without it. Adderall is to LiLo as reruns of House Hunters are to me. She needs it daily and heads will be ripped off if she doesn’t get it. (It’s true, I will punch the air if I go one day without hearing someone on TV cream themselves over granite counter tops and double vanities.) LiLo was apparently diagnosed with ADHD a while ago, but several hos have side-eyed that diagnosis. TMZ says that when LiLo was in jail for a quick second in 2010, she even got the prison doctor to write her a prescription for Adderall.
So, prosecutors and the judge not only agreed to let LiLo serve her time in lockdown rehab without finding out first if lockdown rehab even exists in real life, but they’re also letting her take her drug of choice to rehab. That seems like a brilliant idea. I bet those bitches won’t even blink or raise a hand to object when LiLo’s little lawyer Mark Heller tells them that he found an Adderall-friendly lockdown rehab facility in California and it’s called the Chateau Marmont.