Hayden Panettiere Deflating Titty Balls Might Need Some Air In Them

April 1, 2013 / Posted by:

This is why tiny blond gnomes should never get their titties done by a disbarred plastic surgeon in the dark part of the Enchanted Forest.

Hayden Panettiere spent her Easter Sunday frolicking on the beach in Miami without her hot beanstalk-sized fiancee. Watching Nashville (a wet layer of shame covers me every time I type those words) made me like Hayden Panatroll, so it hurts the nipples on my soul seeing her chichis look like they could win the grand prize in a Tori Spelling’s Tits look-alike contest. Hayden’s giant fiancĂ© should raise his knee and stomp on the office of the plastic surgeon who made it look like she’s got ten handfuls of Ruffles stuffed into her chest. I should not look at Hayden’s tits and say, “Oh, so you got The Tori?” This is gnome abuse and it ain’t right.

On a positive note, Hayden’s exquisite rhinestone belly ring and elegantly-designed craft project two piece IS the look.

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