Hayden Panettiere Deflating Titty Balls Might Need Some Air In Them

April 1, 2013 / Posted by:

This is why tiny blond gnomes should never get their titties done by a disbarred plastic surgeon in the dark part of the Enchanted Forest.

Hayden Panettiere spent her Easter Sunday frolicking on the beach in Miami without her hot beanstalk-sized fiancee. Watching Nashville (a wet layer of shame covers me every time I type those words) made me like Hayden Panatroll, so it hurts the nipples on my soul seeing her chichis look like they could win the grand prize in a Tori Spelling’s Tits look-alike contest. Hayden’s giant fiancé should raise his knee and stomp on the office of the plastic surgeon who made it look like she’s got ten handfuls of Ruffles stuffed into her chest. I should not look at Hayden’s tits and say, “Oh, so you got The Tori?” This is gnome abuse and it ain’t right.

On a positive note, Hayden’s exquisite rhinestone belly ring and elegantly-designed craft project two piece IS the look.

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